Life in a slow lane

T+1 October 1st 2024 Malaga, Spain

In the Void, a New Self Emerges

I’m tired and sleepy. The struggle between self and thoughts continues. I find myself in a void, a void for creation. Something old is dying, something new will sprout. And in between, the void will persist.

This void is beautiful; there is no matter, no matter of fact, no life, no emptiness. It’s the process of creation. There is peace in it.

I am with my loved ones, probably the best moment. A moment of freedom—freedom I wanted so earnestly. The bond with the past remains. We live life between contradicting emotions. Life must be bound by these contradictions, like a river bounded by its shores.

And in this moment of joy, full of loved ones and freedom, I feel a cold wind of loss. It’s like walking in a wet morning—a morning full of light and lingering fog from last night. Light makes me happy, fog makes me wet. We are on a beach, drinking Cava. A flash of memory breezes through the mind. I don’t recognize what it is, other than that it comes from the past. The memory from the past also has contours of freedom and loss. It seems our past paints our future; it is the brush we end up using to paint our present. We don’t even know that the shape and contours of this brush come from the past.

The sun is setting, and I sip the Cava. I wonder where my “new self” is. The journey has started. I am excited, overwhelmed, teary, and lost in the company of loved ones!